#Almost everyone in that family line is an ass trying to be less of a an ass than their parents were

[loves0phelia]

hello! hope you’re okay after the ending, honestly I don’t think any of us are.

I wanted to request a rafe x pogue reader where it’s that boat storm scene and instead of Sarah falling it’s reader and she’s just drowning and Rafe jumps in after her. He doesn’t know why he did it but he just has a soft spot for her and it’s just really angsty but also cute.

thanks! I love your account btw!

In The Sea

Summery: the anon

Words: 2.5k

Warnings: grammar mistakes

A\N: thank you to everyone who has been requesting it makes me very happy xxx

You stand at the edge of the deck, clutching the railing as the boat rocks, waves rolling against the hull. The salty breeze whips your hair around your face, and the peaceful ocean sounds made you think about the current situation.

You didn't expect Rafe to save you and your friends from being arrested, much less expect him to find a boat big and resistant enough to drive you all to Morocco Africa to find the blue crown. It was truly a surprise considering you and Rafe's history.

“So what? Are we just on our way to Africa now?” Kiara asked the group as if she couldn't believe that Rafe Cameron was willingly helping them.

“Quick little weekend trip?” She added to her previous sentence.

“What about Rafe? We know what he did to the cross and now we want to go after the crown with him?” You and the rest of the pogue's lips go into a thin line at the memory.

“Sarah, you're his family, how do deal with him” John B said, finding no other options.

“I don't- I don't know, I think maybe y/n might have a chance of convincing him to behave but..” she shrugged and you felt the stares of your friends burn holes through you. Your past relationship with him was a secret to nobody.

“We- we just have to talk to him, or at least try” You proposed earning a frown from JJ.

“Talk to Rafe? When has he ever just communicated with us?” 

“Talking to him is the only option we have, but you're definitely not talking with him,” John B said and as expected everyone nodded and hummed, agreeing. JJ was in no place to talk with Rafe.

“Why not? What did I do?” He asked, getting almost frustrated.

“We all know you and him are far from being civil, the last thing we need is you triggering him and causing trouble” His girlfriend, Kiara, tried to explain the easiest way but he still got defensive. After a couple of bickering from JJ and John b You finally decide to go speak with him, who was driving the boat not too far away from the deck.

“Hey,” You knock on the metal and rusted door before entering and walking up to him. His eyes catch yours and there's a tension between the two of you. But Rafe only tilts his head to acknowledge you.

You swallow, feeling the weight of his stare. "We just want to talk," you say, steadying your voice as the rest of your friends beside JJ follow behind you.

“All right let's talk” Rafe chuckles, and it’s low, almost a whisper. 

Your mind goes almost blank as you take him in, you haven't been this close since you were forced in the same room by Sighs men last year. You had almost forgotten how much you missed him.

“You guys be cool I'll be cool” His voice snapped you out of your daydream, realizing you had missed a bit of the conversation.

“So now you want peace?” Pope leaned back and scoffed, not believing a word that came out of his mouth.

“I just saved all your asses, how about a thank you?” He glanced at all of you one by one, but he only earned silence,

“Listen I don't want any part of your little fairytale treasure hunt bullshit, I'm just looking for Groff” He’s breathing heavily, holding himself back from adding more snark,

“Hey, Rafe!” Before anyone can react, JJ’s fist flies through the air, cracking against Rafe’s jaw with a force that echoes.

Rafe’s head snaps back, his expression stunned for a split second before he crumples, hitting the hard metal floor. For a moment, everyone is frantic, staring at the lifeless form sprawled across the floor, his eyes closed, completely knocked out.

“holy shit”

“Jesus JJ what's your problem”

“Whoo that felt good” Tired of JJ's crazy actions the girls walk away shaking their heads in disbelief until you are the only one staying behind.

JJ stands over him, breathing heavily, the adrenaline still pulsing through him as he looks down at Rafe. His fist is red, already bruising, but he doesn’t seem to care.

“What is wrong with you?” You look at him, feeling a rush of shock mixed with panic. You fall to your knees next to Rafe and quickly look over his injuries, softly rubbing your thumb on his jaw.   “If he didn't do it I was going to do it” Pope added only worsening the situation. You shook your head and furrowed your eyebrows at his sentence.

After the pogues agreed it was probably not a good idea to let Rafe free in case he woke up and decided to shoot you all with his “peacemaker” you tied him up in a small cabin. His head hung low, his wrists were bound to a stainless steel pole and his legs were uncomfortably folded beneath him. Your heart clenched at the sight of him but still decided to leave him there until he woke up.

You open the door to the cabin slowly with a tray of warmed-up canned spaghetti in hand, it wasn't the best but it was all the boat had.

“I brought you food..” You whispered before bending down to place the tray in front of him.

“great” he sighed.

“I found aspirin in the medicine cabinet, I figured you'd have a headache, maybe even a concussion” 

“Right… are you gonna throw it in my mouth like a seal or something” He scoffed again clearly angered,

“They don't trust you Rafe… but if you do the right thing maybe they will open up a little bit”

“I am doing the right thing! I helped you” He tried pulling against the restraints but failed. 

“I know okay? I know but unfortunately, I don't have a choice but to let you in here until we get there, I'm sorry” you whispered and pushed the tray closer to him. “Please eat,” You said and left closing the large door behind you.

For a moment you stayed behind the door listening closely. “Y/N come back!” he grunts and kicks his feet on the ground. “Fucking untie me please!!” he screamed and you jumped when you heard the tray you had just put down on the floor fly into the wall.

Pope leaning over the side, is the first to spot the flicker of movement beneath the water. "Guys! I see one!" exclaims, his voice a mixture of excitement and focus. He scrambles for the fishing rod, almost knocking over the tackle box in his rush.

John B is right beside him, laughing. “We've got our dinner!" he laughs.

“Guys, this one’s huge!” Kie giggles with the boys knowing we were all set for dinner time tonight.

You all spent the rest of the day cooking the fish you caught and preparing side dishes with some good music in the background.

Until it was time for Rafa's second meal.

You open the door carefully and his eyes catch yours, this time you don't speak, simply set the tray of seasoned salmon down in front of him.

Has you were about to close the door you hear him.

“Wait, y/n. Can you please- can you give me the fork” his tone is much softer than before so you can't deny him. 

You get down and pick up the utensil his bound hands couldn’t reach.

“Thank you” He murmured, and you barely heard him as you closed the door behind you once again.

The sky darkens ominously as thunder rumbles in the distance, low and threatening. Waves crash harder against the hull of the boat, tossing it with a force that leaves you gripping onto anything within reach. The storm monitor flashes red to show the storm coming ahead of you.

“That's not good,” John B says.

“We're gonna have to try to blast through it,” Pope says, not finding any better options.

“Why can't we go south?” Kie asks genuinely.

“The current is gonna be against us we don't have a choice” John B agreed even after trying to find safer options, the boat's roar has Pope push the lever controlling the engine to the max. 

The waves make the boat shift side to side making it difficult to stay up and steady.

Another massive wave crashes over the side, drenching them all, and you lose your footing, sliding across the deck until Kie grabs your arm, pulling you back.

“Hold on to something” Kie yells at you pope and Sarah and you all grip onto the nearest thing.

“Hey!” a distant voice echoes through the walls.

“Cut me loose! Y/N! Somebody!” Rafe screamed and banged his fists on the wall.

“Get me out of here!” Everyone listens but doesn't move a finger.

“We have to let him out” You scramble to your feet but jerk back when Cleo grabs your wrist.

“No!” she says trying to stop you but you pulled back.

“He's gonna drown” You pull open rapidly the drawers trying to find something sharp, able to cut the thick ropes wrapped around Rafe's hands.

The storm is relentless, its fury tossing you around like a rag doll as you try to reach him.  

You cling to the railing, struggling to stay upright as the boat lurches violently, nearly sending you sprawling across the floor. Your legs buckle under you. You come crashing through the door and walk onto the water-soaked floor knife in hand.

“Cut me loose” he begs.

Crouching in front of him you began frantically cutting the rope. Your muscles burn with how much pressure you're using.

“Shit,” You say when a sudden jerk of the boat makes your face come inches apart from his, lips almost touching. You don't have time to think as you regain your balance and continue cutting the bounds.

“There! Come on” you yelled and quickly grasped his hands to pull him up from the floor.

You both run to shelter but the boat jerks side to side even more violently,

“Something is wrong I have to go see!” 

“No!” Rafe tried holding on to you but you were already rushing away onto the deck where waves came crashing, a massive wave rose out of the dark, towering over the boat like a shadow.

You barely had time to think before it crashed down, an icy, unforgiving wall of water that slammed into you with the force of a sledgehammer. The impact was too strong and you were thrown backward, landing hard on the deck. Pain explodes through your shoulder, the wind knocks from your lungs. Dazed and gasping, you try to get up, but the boat tips again, and before you can stand, another wave strikes.

This one is worse, merciless, catching you just as you struggle to rise. Your fingers graze the edge of the railing, but the slick metal slips through your grasp. In an instant, the world spins as you are thrown away from the boat, the cold, raging ocean swallowing you whole.

The water is a shock, freezing and chaotic, disorienting you as you plunge beneath the surface. You thrash, fighting to reach the surface, lungs burning, but the waves toss you back and forth, each effort to rise met with another rush of icy water.

Back on the boat, Rafe catches a glimpse of you disappearing over the side, and his heart stops. “Y/N!” he screams, panic cutting through the storm. Without a second thought, he scrambles to the railing, nearly slipping himself as he peers out into the dark, searching for any sign of you.

“Where is she!” Sarah came rushing to her brother

“She fell overboard” he yells already reaching for a rope with the floating boyee. He’s soaked, exhausted, and barely steady, but there’s no hesitation as he jumps in after you.

“Rafe no!” She screams after her brother.

A wave slams into Rafe. “Y/N!!” he yells in the water as he sees you trying to stay above the water far away.

With the last of your strength, You swim faster and harder towards Rafe and reach out when you're near, fingers brushing his arm, grasping it tight. Rafe holds you with everything he has.

“I got you” But you don't hear him in the storm.

You both hold on to each other your arms around his neck and his around your waist as the boat floats away and the night turns into a void.

“Hey, open your eyes, look at me” You feel gentle hands grasping on your face as you finally sit up coughing out the water that filled your lungs.

“That's it” The hands rub your back in a comforting way.

The sand is hot beneath you, warming up your skin, and with exhaustion, you fall onto Rafe's chest.

“Hey you okay?” panicked, he grabs onto your shoulder and pushes you a little bit to take a good look at your face.

“You jumped after me,” you whispered.

“Of course I did”  You look up at him, heart pounding, feeling a rush of gratitude, fear, and something deeper—something that’s been smouldering beneath the surface, unspoken, for far too long. Your eyes shine with tears, not sad and not happy either but grateful. 

His hand reaches up, brushing a strand of wet hair from your face, his fingers lingering against your skin. His touch is warm, and grounding, and you feel your heart racing even faster under his gaze, intense and unreadable, like he’s seeing you for the first time.

Without another thought, you lean in, closing the space between the two of you as you press your lips to his, a spark igniting into a wildfire the moment you connect. Rafe’s surprise melts away instantly, and he kisses back, fierce and unrestrained, his hands finding your waist.

The kiss is charged, fueled by adrenaline, and a longing that neither of you can deny any longer. Your hands find his shoulders, clinging to him, grounding you in his warmth, his strength, the feel of his heartbeat thundering beneath your touch. 

Rafe’s fingers trail up your back, sending shivers along your spine, and his lips move against yours with an urgency that speaks of everything left unspoken.

When you finally pull apart, breathless, Rafe’s forehead rests against yours, his eyes searching yours as he lets out a shaky laugh, almost in disbelief.

“You saved my life” you smile, brushing a thumb over his cheek, still feeling the warmth of his kiss lingering on your lips. “I love you, I've always loved you” you whisper, and before you know it, you're kissing again, the ocean waves crashing nearby, the world forgotten as you lose yourselves in each other.

“I never stopped loving you,” he whispered.

Send request xxx

[sharkylass]

ALRIGHT, I ASKED FOREVER AGO, BUT WHO WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT MY ISA LOOPS AU??

Heads up this contains a lot, and I mean A LOT of spoilers for In Stars And Time. Including: = Act 6 spoilers, including main mystery and secret encounter = Minimal Act 5 stuff = And a bunch of extra stuff that happens through Act 3 and 4. SO BASICALLY ALMOST EVERYTHING, FINISH THIS GAME COMPLETELY BEFORE READING (ESPECIALLY THAT ACT 6 ENCOUNTER, IT WILL LITERALLY BE THE FIRST THING I MENTION UNDER THE CUT)

With all those warnings out of the way-

IN REPETITION AND CHANGE

Initial Concepts:

I feel it's important to show these sketches because they were the first ideas I ever had. I wasn't even entirely sure I wanted to make an AU at this point, I didn't even know how I'd approach it. But I started sketching and it's been on my mind since- SO! Isa is stuck in the timeloop. I know what his wish is and he DOES have a Loop equivalent! The grumpy dandelion guy is Roboro (it/they/he). Their name is a very small play on Ouroboros and they call Isa "Seedling". However, this post is not about them, as I'm gonna talk about it and Isa's dynamic in a separate post. In short, Isa is his normal loud self up until Act 3, right? They beat the King, they reach the end, and whoops, the loop isn't broken. So now, what happens is that Isa starts getting his brains out. He starts thinking more analytically and tries to problem solve.

The more stuck he gets in his head, the less he's able to perceive his friends as real people, and more like them holding him back. Because even if Isa explains that he's smart, that they shouldn't be surprised if he says something, shock of all shocks, reasonable- They'll forget it the next loop.

So Isa is stuck with trying to portray his confident, loud, supportive facade- Which is fine! It wouldn't be the first time! But it progressively gets more and more frustrating, as he tries to find answers and simply looses the energy to pretend to be stupid.

TL;DR: Isa in the timeloop, unlike Siffrin, becomes more distant and cold rather then something more akin to Sif's mania.

NOW, MORE ART!!!

KILL KILL KILL:

I imagine Isa didn't have this encounter the same way that Sif did. Yeah, frankly, Isa is pissed with the sadness- But that's not why he goes through with this.

In this moment, Isa is trying to kill two birds with one stone. He's trying to get through this quickly, as well as reassure Mira that they can do this! If he shows how strong he is, then she'll feel safe right???

Poor Isabeau forgot that whenever he shows that he thinks ahead, he scares people. How could he forget that? How could he forget that he's inherently---

Family Quest:

I still think Odile is the one to call out to him (same with sus quest).

The hangouts I'm still figuring out, cause I don't think they'd too similar to base game- But, fun fact, at the end of this run, everyone agrees to keep travel together!

Isabeau brings it up, can't hurt if you can fix your mistakes right? And everyone agrees. The relief on Siffrin is the most palpable thing Isabeau has ever seen.

In this moment they love you. In this moment they all love you. In this moment---

Death Screen:

He loops back anyways. (This is one of the initial concepts that I ended up animating. This line in particular is when he reaches the end)

Act 5 Tarot Card:

NOW TO SEE MORE OF HIS PASSIVE AGRESSIVE SIDE

Thanks to @the-bitter-ocean for prescribing tarot cards to Isa (THEY ALL FUCK SO HARD) and for the RAW ASS LINE

If interacted with in act 5, predictably, Isa tears it apart. He doesn't need the divine judgement upon him, he's faced everyone's perception his entire life.

However, he tears it methodically. Tears it once in even pieces, twice, three times, and one of the pieces once more. In a way he isn't even getting his emotions out, it's like he's actively trying to tear it apart so it stops nagging him, like he wants to shut it up. Though, the Judgement card symbolizes rebirth, absolution and inner calling. In Act 6 he'd be able to look at it and find comfort and confidence in the card.

Act 5 Mirror:

And lastly, I have the Act 5 mirror picture. I haven't quite figured out how to make the normal ones work yet, however, I couldn't let go of the idea that Isa would not want to be in the picture.

The idea of seeing himself at all makes his head hurt and his stomach squeeze. The memory haunts him as he stands to the side and says the word. He didn't think the mirror would catch him.

AAAAND THAT'S ALL THE ART STUFF FOR NOW!!

I still have quite a bit of it to post, especially about Roboro, but I'm gonna leave it here for now.

I still gotta figure out the hangouts and potentially the dagger equivalent- but I have ideas for Bad Touch, the glass equivalent, and some extra little things that didn't happen in Siffrin's loops.

I needed to yap about this, because I've been slowly stacking up ideas and writing and I needed to share it at some point- If anyone read all this and has questions and stuff I fully welcome 'em!!

[whosplayerthree]

(BEST WITH HEADPHONES)

I wanted to put it together with the comic in a video editor, but until I figure my new one out, I'll just leave this here.

1. The year is 2003.

Just a funny lil guy. Hehehehehahahahgagehehehehdhdhhd

[bby-blu-swirll]

" i know that you got daddy issues, and i do too " - todoroki x reader

it's not a song fic i just have a really messed up relationship with my dad lol - i don't have a lot of direction for this, it's just a little lazy & venty,, we'll see where it goes ♡

it was one of those nights where 1-a was all tired from the long school week, but not enough to fall asleep. they happened every once in a while, and always resulted in the majority of the class hanging out together in the common area doing whatever together until they all crashed for the evening.

the open downstairs was filled with the sound of idle conversation and super smash bros, but most of everyone's attention on the ladder. it started with just the bakusquad, but once katsuki ran undefeated, almost everyone else in the class took it upon themselves to try and overthrow the king. so far, nobody was successful. ururaka came close, but to no avail. she took the defeat like a champ, though.

while most everyone huddled around the tv, yelling things like "KICK HIS ASS" and "SHUT UP YOU BASTARD I'M TRYING TO FOCUS" (yeah), there were a few who had strayed from the pack. tokoyami and shoji were over by the dining tables playing a game of chess, and kouda was reading a book on a couch off to the side, using his classmates as white noise.

and then there was you.

you were settled on top of the kitchen island, legs crossed, with one earbud in. it wasn't that you didn't want to be around your friends, you had grown slightly overstimulated and needed a moment to recollect your thoughts.

you rolled a lollipop of your favorite flavor around in your mouth, absentmindedly scrolling through pinterest. your mind was on anything but aesthetically pleasing pictures, brows furrowed as your thoughts wandered back to your family. you sighed and squeezed your phone for a moment before turning it off and setting it down next to you. you just needed to distract yourself. something more.

in that moment, one of your classmates strolled into the kitchen. you looked up at todoroki, who was holding an empty mug.

"hey," he smiled at you softly as he made his way over to the stove. "what are you still doing in here?"

"ah, iida hasn't noticed me sitting on the countertop yet." you chuckled at your own joke, feeling the smallest butterflies when he grinned back at you. "what about you?"

"just getting a refill." he said, picking up the kettle of tea momo had put on earlier (omg.) and filling his mug. "and checking on you."

"oh-" you looked up at him in surprise, cocking your head to the side slightly. "really? for why?"

"you didn't look like you were doing too well earlier." he said bluntly, leaning against the counter facing you and taking a sip of his drink.

"ah... yeah," you looked away and laughed awkwardly, playing with your rings.

"are you?"

"am i what?"

when you turned to look back at him, his expression had changed. less neutral, more... worried. compassionate.

"are you not doing well?"

you opened your mouth to say something. "i'm fine, thank you though!" was was you had always answered with. you were tired, or you were just zoning out, anything but not okay. yet the way he looked at you made you hesitate. saying you were doing just fine was so second nature, but it was almost hard to lie to him.

before you could actually answer, your phone started to buzz softly. you both turned your attention to it, reading the name in the caller id line.

"dad"

you bit your lip and furrowed your brow. it continued to vibrate in your hand a few more times, before you declined the call. you quickly set your phone down and looked straight ahead. you have no idea why, but your eyes began to water. you took a shaky deep breath, and made an attempt to spell out your thoughts, something you learned earlier in life to help keep from crying.

"y/n..." todoroki set down his mug and took a step towards you, carefully.

"hmm?" your voice was tight as you avoided eye contact, trying to keep from blinking, afraid it would push a tear out.

you took on last deep breath and spelled out one last phrase, before you felt your eyes finally dry. you sighed and put your lollipop back in your mouth, facing him with a smile like nothing had happened.

"i see."

you cocked your head to the side in confusion, watching as he pulled himself up onto the counter and sitting across from you. you pulled your knees to your chest and rested your chin atop them. he noted your look of curiosity and held out a hand to you. you hesitated for a moment before carefully placing your fingers to his palm. he shifted until he was sitting close, holding your hand in his, tracing over your bones and knuckles softly, fiddling with your rings.

"i understand, i mean. i think." his voice was low and soft. anyone standing further than a few feet away would have a hard time hearing him. "whatever your reason for ignoring that call, whyever you did it... i've got dozens of calls from my old man i never bothered to pick up."

when you looked up at him, you saw his eyes glues to your fingers tangled with his. he touched your hands so delicately, as if you were made of glass. he was so full of care. his touch, the way he looked at you, all of it. it was all so full of the most tender affection.

"you don't need to talk about it, if you don't want to. God knows it took me forever to open up to midoriya," he smiled a bit. "i just wanted you to know the offer is out there, if you need it."

you bit down on your lollipop to try and hide how big that'd made you smile. the second you opened your mouth to say something, you heard iida begin to raise his voice, something about curfew and going to bed.

both you and todoroki turned to see him coming into the kitchen, stiffening when he notices you.

"both of you should get off the counter right now! this is living space, for goodness sake! and still school property."

you chuckled and waved a hand at him, already climbing off. "alright, class rep, don't get your panties in a twist. we're going." you tossed your sucker in the bin as todoroki stepped onto the floor, too.

"good. now get some good rest tonight, we've all had a long week and you've earned it. sleep well, both of you."

"you too, iida."

you and todoroki offered him tired smiles as you made your way past him to the elevator. when you got inside, you practically collapsed against the wall with an exasperated sigh. todoroki went ahead and pushed the button for his floor, but not yours. you didn't question it, maybe he'd forgotten. so instead, you pushed yourself off the wall and moved towards the panel. your outstretched hand halted to a stop when you felt arms wrap around your torso. before you could turn, you felt todoroki's nose nuzzle into your neck. he took a deep breath that made you shiver.

"come over, to my room. we can talk. or not. i can distract you, do whatever you want. i'm not tired yet."

feeling his breath on your skin practically made your heart leap into your throat. you stood, frozen for a moment, gasping softly when his grip on you tightened ever so slightly. you wondered if he could feel your heart beating, with how close he was to your main pulse points. his lips, so close...

you leaned back into him and put your hands over his, wrapped around your waist. "yeah... me neither."

you could practically feel him smile as another small exhale of his grazed your neck, making you shiver. "i'll play with your hair if you want, play with your fingers... just hold you."

as if his words hadn't already done it, you practically melted in his hands when his lips pressed against your neck for a long second. you hummed in response, blushing furiously.

"just relax pretty girl, i promise i'll be there for you however you need me."

idk man its wtv !

i'm officially out of ideas right now, requests are open to anybody, feel free to be as specific or detailed or even vague as you like and please please please don't be shy <33

i love you sm okay bye !!

[sissytobitch10seconds]

I think it's kind of interesting that Viktor is overshadowed by his siblings both in the canon and fanon.

In season one I could understand it. Despite Viktor being the main character that literally drives the entire plot, everyone focuses on the other characters. People make fun of Luther for talking about the moon all the time. Everyone is almost creepily obsessed with Klaus and the Vietnam fling that he had. No one really talks about Allison, but her story is primarily linked with Viktor's since she's trying to heal their relationship (fandom misogyny too). I think that there's a decent amount of talk around Five since he's such a fascinating character. There's quite a lot of talking about Diego too, since he loses Eudora and spends a lot of time trying to take care of Klaus. But no one really talks about Viktor and the amount of shit that he goes through in s1. All the siblings other than Allison completely abandon him too, and Allison only wants the idea of a 'sister' that she's built up in her head since she lost her husband and daughter.

In season two, it makes even less sense to not talk about what Viktor has done. He has a queer love story with Sissy and we get to see way more development and chemistry for, Klaus and Dave had a montage and some sad lines from Klaus as opposed to an entire arc through ten episodes, but no one really does anything with it. Allison gets basically no attention for the same fandom misogyny issues as before. Five gets some attention because of the fact that he's exhausted and still dealing with the Commission (his fight scenes are amazing). Diego gets the same treatment as Luther did but a little more deserving because the plan to save JFK was stupid. Luther gets totally sidelined and ignored too, but people really hated him in S1 so I'm not surprised. Klaus gets all the attention again even though his plot outside of Ben possessing him is honestly really boring and makes me so uncomfortable.

Season three is where Viktor should have gotten the most attention. If we're considering the fact that the TUA fandom has a very queer audience, then they should be super excited and celebrating the fact that Viktor is trans. Not only that, but he's also working his ass off so that he can fix things for Allison and get her back to a timeline where her daughter exists or back to the sixties. I think a lot of people ignore that, giving Five more credit than he deserves for trying to fix the world when Viktor was doing that until Harlan showed up and he wanted to handle that first. A lot of attention during the debut went again to Klaus, which was actually warranted this time since he was plot relevant by showing us things about Reggie and discovering his powers. Diego got more attention since he was parenting Stan and fighting with Lila, which was nice. Five got some meme attention but nothing serious and Luther got a little bit of genuine love. But mostly people just posted the conversation where Viktor comes out to his family and continued to ignore him.

Now Season four is out and no one cares about Viktor. He stands up to Reginald and says all of the things that he needs to say, he fights like Hell to try and save Ben from the Durango and get him someplace stable, he owns a bar and got fucking KIDNAPPED. No one is talking about him, all people are doing is complaining about fivela and the ending.

Viktor moved to Nova Scotia probably to get better trans healthcare, but also because none of his siblings care about him. My man is a tiny trans man that got kidnapped and ransomed off the street and they couldn't care less about him when they show up, Five is taking notes about the room they're in instead of checking to make sure that his childhood best friend is okay. Luther may have made him best man at his wedding, but it was just because Viktor had only just come out and all the other siblings were non options (never been close with Five, butted heads with Diego who didn't even want the wedding to happen, not their Ben, and Klaus was officiating) which was the same reason Lila was Sloane's maid of honor. Diego and Viktor barely spare two words at each other despite their closeness in the comics. Lila and Allison say something briefly to him before they also fuck off further into the plot.

Viktor isn't liked by his family despite them trying to include him in it when it's convenient for them, and he's also disliked by the fandom. I went into the TUA tag and about half of the top twenty posts were about someone else with him tacked on as an afterthought.

[gffa]

I never meant to fall into this fandom, but seeing these really stunning pieces of characters in trench coats and got supremely curious. It took approximately two days to fall ass over teakettle into OMNISCIENT READER'S VIEWPOINT hell, because it has absolutely fascinating characters, interesting worldbuilding, a beautifully drawn webtoon, thoughtful plot elements on the nature of stories and the relationship with the audience and--most importantly--it has the kind of character dynamics you immediately want fic. I'm barely past chapter 40 and I was already spoiling myself for the overarching plot because I desperately needed post-canon fic that offered resolution, because everything was already so deliciously intense that I couldn't stand it! So, here I am, having a bunch of knock-out fic to go with the absolute god-tier art that's in the fandom and desperately trying to drag more of you into this with me because it's so good and I think you'd like it and I don't want to be throwing up feelings everywhere and not have you all understand how much these characters mean to me (especially the main character, he is such a skrunkly little asshole whomst I would die for!!!!) even after just forty chapters! Joinnnnn meeeee!!! (p.s. This is primarily a Joongdok recs set, but give me time and I'll love all the characters!)

OMNISCIENT READER'S VIEWPOINT - POST-CANON IS WHAT I'M REALLY HERE FOR: ✦ [Message from the Universe: Kim Dokja Must Die] by jarofclay, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, NSFW, post-canon spoilers, 27.2k     Six months after returning to his original world-line, Kim Dokja almost dies (again). A tragicomedic Final Destination-esque story featuring one dreamer in distress, his personal hero and his rightfully anxious family. ✦ world's end rhapsody by wakerife, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & han sooyoung & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 11.6k     another post-epilogue fic, wherein kim dokja may or may not need a bigger hospital bed ✦ Unburying Kim Dokja by stingerra, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 21.3k     Kim Dokja is back and left to ponder such things like fitting in and making amends. None of this proves easy. He was dead for too long and it's common knowledge that resurrection is a lengthy process. Especially because Kim Dokja was someone who buried himself at the age of 15 and didn't hope for anyone to care. ✦ “You are loved,” said Yoo Jonghyuk. “This is a threat,” said Yoo Jonghyuk. by IceBreeze, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & han sooyoung & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 13.3k     Kim Dokja doesn't really know when he began collecting time travellers like stray cats but it's not so bad, he guesses. He just wishes there was less crying. ✦ show me proof you hear my sound by grdenofavalon, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 30k     Kim Dokja has two goals in his life: figure out why he can't recall anything from before that "apocalypse" everyone and their dog is traumatized from, and finally finish the renovations on his newly (if six years old could still be "new") purchased book-and-breakfast cafe. It's... a work in progress. But now he has a third goal — find out what Yoo "former-terrorist-turned-civil-worker" Joonghyuk wants from his life. Or maybe he just wants his life, to end it himself. Kim Dokja is starting to think that might be the case. ✦ The End Of A Story by mellllting, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj compnay, NSFW, post-canon spoilers, 22.8k     Kim Dokja wakes up, and the most shocking part of all that has happened was probably finding out that Yoo Joonghyuk loves him. ✦ white house, white rock by beforedaybreaks, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj compnay, post-canon spoilers, 12.1k     “Big family?” the grocery store clerk asks, as he makes his way to the front of the checkout line. The clerk motions toward Kim Dokja’s baskets. Kim Dokja laughs as he loads the ingredients onto the conveyer belt. “I guess you could say that.” After the Scenarios, Kim Dokja moves into a big house with everyone.

✦ unwind the world, is your nightmare gone? by Scribblurri, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj compnay, post-canon spoilers, 9.9k     He learns of lots of things that these people say his older self has experienced in the apocalypse: kindness, companionship, strength, family, love, sacrifice; all things they say the older him has provided to them. (He's not sure he believes it.) ✦ Revelation by 1864_9158, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj compnay, post-canon spoilers, 2.1k     Kim Dokja realizes he's in love with Yoo Jonghyuk a month after he wakes up. Post-Canon ✦ Will you share your soul with me? (Unzip your skin and let me have a see) by Maru_Chan, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj compnay, NSFW, post-canon spoilers, 19.9k     Noticing my gaze, Yoo Joonghyuk looked up from where he was polishing his sword. “Kim Dokja, what do you want?" My eyes shifted back to the System Notification I had been making a valiant effort to ignore ever since it had appeared a few minutes ago. [I w■■t to b■■■ him ■■ half a■d ■■■■ him wi■■■ an inch ■f h■s ■■fe] Uhh... (Or: KDJ might read both books and minds, but he can't read the room to save his life.) ✦ you used to be my satellite by Karelyon, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 3.4k     Yoo Joonghyuk in his first regression, with all his memories from the 0th round, meets one Kim Dokja. ✦ The Scars of Dreaming by Gotcocomilk, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 6.5k     Or: two dreamers speak. Neither are monsters. ✦ today's prophecy: you will receive love (this is inevitable) by kdj_225, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 2.6k     “Kim Dokja!” Han Sooyoung yells first. “What the hell is this, huh?!” “You’re asking me? I’m just as confused as you, Han Sooyoung.” “This is related to you, this—huh?” It seems she hadn’t fully read the status window before she barged into his room. Her eyes, initially squinted, turn wide when they read through the lit-up words on the floating window. With a growing smirk, she teases, “A kiss? You wanted a kiss?” ✦ the false last act by younglegends, kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 8.6k     Living in a big house with everyone was convenient, most of the time. But there were other things that couldn’t be avoided. Or: The end. ✦ Pretty Fool by jokebear, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja, post-canon spoilers, 1.4k     Kim Dokja is pretty. That was the undeniable, factual, and conclusive verdict Yoo Joonghyuk had reached after days of gazing at the other man. ✦ missing person report by lorilanda, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 9.7k     Kim Dokja opens his arms. "Okay, okay." He takes a deep breath. "Okay. C'mere. Give me a hug." To his absolute horror, Yoo Joonghyuk actually does. Kim Dokja returns. ✦ you made a deal, you traded daffodils for a kingdom of ash and bone by venividivici, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 21k     From infancy to adulthood, Kim Dokja has had a hard life. He copes.

OMNISCIENT READER'S VIEWPOINT - BUT I WILL HAPPILY TAKE MID-SCENARIOS FIC BECAUSE IT'S SUCH GOOD TROPE FODDER: ✦ Fire on Fire by alodienr, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja, NSFW, 2.7k     "What are you doing?" He hissed in pain and shock and confusion. Their faces were dangerously close. He could see golden under the dark irises in front of him. The kind of golden that was warm, intimidating, and seemed to want to devour Kim Dokja at the same time. Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes glinted with longing, hunger and want. "Push me if you want me to stop." Yoo Joonghyuk stared right into Kim Dokja's eyes. There was a bit of gentleness in his tone. ✦ The Reader's Lost Hope by bobacrane, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja, read the tags, 5.2k     Yoo Jonghyuk is thrown into the past right when teenage Kim Dokja makes an attempt on his own life. He must learn about the past of his companion in order to return home. ✦ Taking Action to Contain a Hopeless Squid by gayboy_advance, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja, 1.2k     It started out innocent—just some minor actions to ensure the slippery man’s safety. Yoo Joonghyuk made sure to check on Kim Dokja every time before going to bed, specifically when the other was already sleeping soundly. He figured it would be less explaining if caught, as well as less likely that the man would up and leave once he had actually taken the time to fall asleep. Unfortunate or not, it was not enough to settle his worries as time progressed. ✦ proof of love by Maven_Fair, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja, NSFW, omegaverse, 3.6k     “Yoo Jonghyuk,” a low rumble, “bad touch,” a soft huff of breath, teeth scraping, “ooh - ah, bad touch,” a tongue, softly caressing that sensitive bundle so slowly that he just wanted him to bite already - “VERY BAD TOUCH, YOO JONGHYUK - ” An indignant bite is the only response he gets. ✦ i crave death by exocara, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja, NSFW, 2.2k     Kim Dokja would say that he had no idea how he got into this situation, but he would be lying. It wasn’t as if he wanted to be in this situation (except he did, it was his idea and he was the one who had to do the convincing) but Yoo Joonghyuk needed to be put in his place. Which was under him. Also with his dick up Kim Dokja’s ass, but that was neither here nor there. ✦ speak no evil by cvrely, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja, NSFW, 2.9k     The same hands that encircled his throat at their meeting, held the blade that pierced his body during the Demon King selection, now hold onto him as if afraid to let go—what defenses does he have against Yoo Joonghyuk when he’s like this? What defense does he have against Yoo Joonghyuk at all? ✦ My Star by TeaFlowers, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & secretive plotter/kim dokja, NSFW, 3.6k     ⸢K im Dok ja th in ks: I wa nt him to cr ush me⸥ Shut up, I didn’t want this to happen. He weakly refuted. ⸢K im Dok ja is a li ar⸥ One of the Plotter’s gloved fingers tapped Kim Dokja’s cheek, bringing his attention back to him and his smug smile. The hand tilted Kim Dokja’s chin toward him as he murmured, “Thinking of others while I’m here? That’s not very polite of you Kim Dokja.” ✦ you got me starstruck by virotutis, yoo joonghyuk/kim doka & kdj company, 3.6k     Kim Dokja is a man who has rather clear priorities after his favorite novel comes to life—unfortunately for his companions, informing them about his former idol career is not one of them.

OMNISCIENT READER'S VIEWPOINT - AND THEN MAYBE SOMETIMES THEY DESERVE A HAPPY ALTERNATE UNIVERSE: ✦ the tidal pain of wanting by aryelee, yoo joonghyuk/dim dokja, omegaverse, alternate universe, 14.7k     “Kim Dokja.” The sound of his name makes his breath hitch. His eyes burn with oncoming tears. He hasn’t cried in front of another person in years. It’s mortifying. He doesn’t understand why the sound of his name from Yoo Joonghyuk’s mouth hurts him, why it hollows out the inside of his chest, why it aches with a loneliness he thought he got used to living with. “Kim Dokja, allow me to know you.” ✦ How To Be A Husband by cymbelione, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, 9.3k     Being a good best friend involves comforting your friends when they're sad, eating their unwanted vegetables and remembering their birthdays. Last time Kim Dokja checked, the description didn't include "pretending to marry them". He'd think that he would recall that part. ✦ you can't skip the tutorial by cvrely, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja, royalty dating sim au, 4.1k     (Yoo Joonghyuk wakes up in a dating sim. It goes as well as expected.)

[chibifoxwrites]

@dunedragon Ask and ye shall receive!

Two children stood in a white room, one with arms crossed across her chest and an eyebrow cocked in mild interest while the other was playing with the hem of his hoodie.

The girl was wearing a cropped blue jacket over a black top with leggings under a pair of shorts, an orange symbol outlined in gold prominent on the left side of her jacket.

The boy was wearing a large orange hoodie that seemed to swallow him whole and almost covered his shorts while a bright blue headband with a matching symbol was snuggly tied around his head.

Regardless of where they came from, both were part of the Hikari family.

"So," the girl started. "I'm guessing your name is Netto too? How did you get here?"

The boy flinched before answering. "Actually, my name is Lan and I honestly don't know how I got here. I remember going to bed and hearing a voice talking about the likes meeting one another. When I looked around, I couldn't find MegaMan and only saw this giant robot looking thing. Then, I was here!"

Netto nodded slowly, lips twisted in a grimace. "One, it's good to know that you have some form of RockMan in your world from what it sounds like. Two, I think were were brought here by Duo."

"Who or what is Duo?"

"He's a NetNavi from the edge of the universe and operates purely on logic as he judges other beings from their planets, decides whether the species or race is good or evil, and then destroys the planet if he deems it evil," Netto explained, much to her counterpart's horror. "He dropped by my planet some years back to judge it, but the test was rigged by his companion, Slur. A bunch of criminal NetNavis were resurrected and mostly given to people who had less than good intentions. A few people were innocent, but a majority of them were career criminals. Long story short, my friends and I beat the bad guys, exposed and deleted Slur, and sent Duo on his merry way among other things."

Lan decided not to ask about the last bit of the sentence that his counterpart muttered under her breath.

"Well, you sound like you've been doing some cool stuff for a while. I just got my NetNavi. Dad gave him to me as a gift when we moved back to DenTech City," the boy explained.

Netto blinked at her counterpart in confusion. "You moved back to Densan?"

"DenTech City, but yeah! Before that we were living in Cyber City! I lived in DenTech when I was younger but we had to move for Dad's job. He then got transferred back to Sci-Labs Headquarters after the mayor was arrested." Lan then shrugged. "Turns out the mayor made it so Dad would transfer and slowly tried to get him to unearth some powerful programs that had been hidden away a long time ago."

Netto sighed. "Our family can never have a moment of peace, at least that is universal."

"Um, just how bad is it? I mean in your world?" Lan asked. "I just started a new school and MegaMan keeps trying to drag me into situations, like trying to make new friends not like I had many in the first place back in Cyber City, but what about you?"

"I'm basically part of a super sentai group that goes around the world and stops cyber crime. People keep thinking that just because they're smarter than the average human that they have the right to steal the hard work from other people to rule over everyone on the planet, so we have to kick ass and take names. I've lost friends in the line of duty and I've been betrayed by them too, but a majority of my team are still friends with me and with each other. We have goot times and we have bad times, but at least I have RockMan and the rest of the family beside me." Netto went quiet for a bit and blushed. "Also, I have my boyfriend so that helps too..."

Lan smiled and softly clapped his hands together. "Hooray for you!"

Netto smiled when something caught her eye. "Has that door always been there?"

Lan turned around and jumped back. "No, no it was not."

"...We're gonna have to go open it to find out where we are, aren't we?"

Lan sighed and took off his backpack before rummaging around in it. A few seconds later, he pulled out a kabuton stick. "I have other things if you need one."

Netto smiled. "Oh, I think we're going to get along just great."

[desceros]

Okay I have something of a long post/ask/critical analysis of Symphony AU that I want to address. you're free to ignore it if I'm just spouting off insane copium. Or whatever you want to do with it lol. This is more about the turtles that about the Violist.

First I'm gonna talk about Donnie because he's arguably the easiest one to talk about. And take less time. He spent at the very least 15 years of his life knowing exactly five people, three brothers, his dad, and a bestie/pseudo big sister. They're all people who completely understand/grew up with him. And he's used to people adapting to his needs without having to say anything because he's, well, they're brother/son. Speaking from a purely canon standpoint in Rise you can see it, Raph refuses to tell Donnie they hate his gifts because it'll crush him. Stuff like that. Leo calling him a "weirdo" doesn't really mean much of anything considering he's Donnie's brother, and this is about pineapple on pizza.

This is all to say I see how Donnie just didn't bother communicating this was all for his touch experiment. As far as he's basically aware, she already knew. He wasn't going to read between the lines because he'd grown accustomed to the way his brothers, April, and dads act. Which, in hindsight, bit him in the ass because the violist literally doesn't know him aside from "purple turtle science man".

So. I get him. I get where he's coming from even if it ended up kinda fucking up the violist. That's all part of the learning curve of knowing people who don't already know who you are and whatever.

Now for Leo, maybe this is REALLY just me on my copium life support but I see where he's coming from too. Again, when you look at it from a canon lens I see where Leo is coming from. He's always been protective of his family, even more so than Raph at points. He didn't trust Big Mama immediately, even though the rest of his brothers did. He was perfectly willing and happy to DIE IN THE PRISON DIMENSION to keep his family safe. Like, let's not forget he, as well as the others, has a ton of unchecked trauma that he's definitely not willing to address to anyone. A decade of unaddressed trauma will do things to someone's psyche, intentionally or not. The guilt of almost killing his brothers has been festering inside him for over a decade now, this doesn't really seem entirely like a "my brother touches you and not me >:(" thing.

The way I see it Leo's acting out because he's actually just terrified of someone hurting his family again. It's definitely not okay, and it's condemnable. But as someone who's done some pretty fucked shit when I was dealing with my depression before meds, I've been Leo before. That man needs help, and fast.

We've also seen, from Symphony AU that he's mostly accepted the violist as part of the family now. The comments he makes about her being "Donnie's toy" are, again, things he seems to be saying to get a rise out of Donnie. We know he's been doing that for a while. And I wouldn't really put it past him for continuing to try and do it now that Donnie's not allowed to do his experiments anymore.

I had a way better way of wording this last night but I ended up watching TMNT 1987 instead but to summarize my thoughts, I sympathize with both Leo and Donnie and don't believe either of them are irredeemable monsters. If I'm somehow wrong about Leo and this is all just conduit to getting Donnie and the violist together then I'm gonna be so :(. Mafuyu Main Story chapter 14 even.

Or, again, maybe I'm just coping lol.

oh i'm all about symphony copium. breathe deep, anon-chan, hahahaha

aaaaand in true desceros fashion this got way too long so i'm tucking it under a cut. rolls eyes at myself soooooo hard

you're largely correct, though i will specify that for donnie it's not that he "didn't bother" to communicate what he thought was going on, so much as he thought he did.

i invite you-slash-everyone to read this passage from when the agreement was struck to see what i mean. i've removed all of viola-chan's thoughts and interpretations for you, and left you with just the core of the conversation, color-coded for clarity on who's speaking:

“We have… exhausted the limits of touching that I would perform with most people.”  [...] “…What do you mean?”  “I mean that all of the myriad mechanical touches I have experienced so far in my life, we’ve covered together. [...] I’ve become completely enured to them all, so long as you’re the one doing them. There is, of course, an obvious next step, but I wanted to discuss it before we begin.”  “To… touches you haven’t done?” [...] “Correct." [...] “I… don’t understand." [...] “I’m referring to more… intimate touches. We’ve… already been pushing at the boundary a bit, so I wanted to be very specific and clear." [...]

“I… take it you don’t scent your brothers.” “No, I don’t." [...] “Donnie, I—[...] I like you. You know that, right?”  “You aren’t very good at hiding it, no. [...] I, of course, like you as well, though I’d like to think that has been well demonstrated over our time together.”

[...]"…Intimate touches. [...] Like… what, petting? Kissing? Sex? What are we talking about, exactly?”  “All of it, ideally. [...] I’m quite curious to study how I’ll react, especially considering the whole touch aversion situation.” [...] “…Do… Do you wanna try it? [...] …Us, together, I mean?”  [...] “Really? With… With me?” [...] “Of course, I—[...]Donnie, I… of course. I’d be stupid to say no, right?” “Oh, that’s such a relief. [...] I’ve been making spreadsheets of things I’ve wanted to try for several days and wondering how best to bring it up, especially considering—well. It’s quite helpful that you did so yourself. Excellent work, consultant.” [...] “Well, I’d like to amend our agreement on how turtle time is going to go, from now on in light of all this, [...] We’re partners, now, so we have to take care of each other. [...]” “[...]Very well. If those are your terms for partnership, I accept.”

see how differently it reads without viola-chan's thoughts staining it? stripped of her thoughts, you can easily see where the miscommunication happened. other than a few incidental pieces of dialogue that don't affect the meaning of the convo, this is it.

in donnie's mind, he and viola-chan were very much on the same page. "partnership". "agreement". these are words that viola-chan uses. when he refers to spreadsheets, she just rolls with it. as far as he's concerned, they're talking about a scientific study here. he did communicate, and well. it's just... viola-chan put things there that he didn't. and that's not her fault, because at this point she hasn't picked up on how to communicate with donnie yet. and it's completely rational to assume, when discussing sex and romance and hearing someone say "i like you"--and then going on to kiss and have sex with that person--that it's a romantic relationship. as stated in the fic, my personal opinion (which to be clear, as someone who stands on death of the author, this *is* just my opinion) neither of them did the other ill. they literally just didn't know how to communicate yet. so i 100% agree with you on being able to see donnie's side of this. i have another long-ass ask somewhere in the meta tag discussing the lack of socializing specifically, if you're curious for more of my thoughts on that.

i also agree with you largely with the leo portion of your analysis. i... can't go into as much detail on his side of things, but rest assured that before everything is over, viola-chan and leo are going to have more than one conversation. and the two of them, despite everything, really do mesh well and talk about things, so it'll be a satisfying resolution, i think.

anyway WOW that got way too long but teal deer, i agree and love deep meta-analysis of my stuff so don't apologize in the slighest, yeehaw

[onionsoop]

yan!shalnark drabble

tw: yandere, exhibitionism, degradation, creampie, threats, noncon/dubcon, gn!reader but wearing of skirts mentioned

I've got devious thoughts about yan!shalnark and how he would let reader out of wherever he was keeping them just to be a pervert and indulge his exhibitionism kink. I fully believe he would send reader out into the busy streets, onto the packed rush hour trains and buses, into crowded department stores just to watch them stumble around in skimpy outfits with no undergarments. I think he would love sitting just in view of you pressed up against some stranger while wearing a sheer little button down, your nipples peaking through the fabric and getting hard.

At first you maybe would have protested, or tried to run away once he let you outside, legs scrambling to get away towards anywhere, anywhere away from him. But, he would quickly put those thoughts to rest by getting some puppets to restrain you until he catches up, a smile on his face as he greets you. Unlike a lot of the other phantom troupe members I don't think he would be completely delusional, as much as he would want you to become attached to him through stockholm syndrome, or through actual love, hes not stupid enough to believe that this was some kind of badly timed joke, or you just wanting to push his boundaries. Once he finally gets to you, he'd cup your cheek, giving you what was supposed to be a comforting stroke, but felt more like a threat before leaning in and showing you his phone screen, tuned in to something showing your family's apartment, the point of view of your younger sister. Realization would hit you almost instantly, as you watched the threat that he could and would do anything if you resisted.

After having such an intense threat, the lewd situations he put you through paled in comparison to the idea of what would happen if you resisted. Regardless, you couldn't help your face from heating up and your legs pressing together whenever he made you go out without panties under your skirt or shorts. The worst of it was whenever he decided to put you on crowded public transportation, which unfortunately seemed to be his favorite.

You knew that other people would stare at you once they noticed the situation you were in. Shalnark loved how embarrassed you would get when this happened, and after a little attempted anything to try and get more people to notice you. He would trip you as you climbed onto the bus, making you stumble and reveal your ass as your skirt rode up. He always made you board last just to ensure that you would be clutching the handles coming down from the ceiling, showing off your lewd chest to everyone around you. Even though you tried your best to keep your eyes on the ground during these excursions, if felt nearly impossible to keep him out of your line of sight. He would always be staring at you, a smile plastered on his face as you could see the tent growing in his pants.

Every time, after tormenting you like this for at least an hour, he would drag you off and rush you back to the house he kept you in. Once you got inside he would waste no time in smashing his mouth against yours and practically dragging you to the bedroom. Despite being so eager to have you to himself though, he would take his time before taking off your clothes. He would run his hands over your thinly clothed chest, tweaking at your nipples until you where whining and sobbing for him to touch you. He would keep you in his lap, sucking bruises into your neck as you whined.

The whole time his mouth would be running a commentary about how, "You were such a tease out there, did you see the way that man in blue was staring at you? I could tell he was just itching to shove a hand down your pants."

The whole ordeal would feel less like him wanting to have sex with you and more like him using you as a toy. Even though he would play with you, and fuck you just in that spot he knew you loved, the speed and desperation in his movements made it feel like you were just there to be used. He would make you cum multiple times, creampieing you and stuffing you back full of both of your fluids. At the end he would throw you a towel to get yourself cleaned up, but he wouldn't be comforting afterwards unless you were going to bed, gripping you in an uncomfortably tight embrace and drifting off to sleep with you in his arms.

[otobabe]

SHOCKING: regarding the rumors about todo heisuke not being an ally

i'm about to cause discourse on tumblr..... lol

first things first: obv everyone is entitled to their onions and headcanons, im not coming for the person i saw post abt heisuke not being gay or an ally, and they're allowed to feel and share their opinions abt queer hakuouki takes. i prefer not to make them feel attacked so pls dont go trying to find their post and responding to it just bc you see this. esp bc for all i know, other people feel the same way about heisuke !!! i just want to clear up these rumors abt him ok ! xD

~~if you've ever talked to me abt hakuouki you know i am very "everyone is everything and whatever you want them to be", pls for your own personal enjoyment of hakuouki, have fun with or without the source material and enjoy the colorful cast of characters!!~~

that said, HERE ARE MY REASONS HEISUKE IS GAY AND LOVES TRANS PEOPLE AND HONESTLY IS PROBABLY UNDER THE TRANS UMBRELLA AND LITERALLY WOULD GO TO BAT AND FIGHT FOR ANY OF HIS FRIENDS BUT ESPECIALLY HIS LGBTQ+ FAM

-photo one: taken directly from EB, this one line from Sannan not only points out that the rest of the shinsengumi crew is so close and valuable to heisuke that even others view them as "his pack" aka his family, but also showcases the moment that heisuke has gone far out of his way to be here to confront Sannan with relationship to his previous bond to Sannan, and his current bonds to the shinsengumi and chizuru. even if we pretend that heisuke isn't gay in some way (he is) of course he would also view his queer friends with the same loving ferocity and defend them with his life. if anything he is one of the most all for one, one for all, protective and loving shinsengumi members of the bunch.

-photo two: always prioritizing and protecting the "underdog/weakest", even above other people who we have literally seen him be willing to give his life for. he recognizes when life/the situation is unfairly against someone else and he is on their team to try to help them.

continued under cut <3

-photo three: i'm going to cry thinking abt this scene again lol. pls, if you know the scene you know what i'm pointing out. stan my boys.

-photo four: hajime here is kindly pointing out for us: heisuke has Been Through It. i could go all day talking abt his not being wanted/accepted in his family as a child, his bond with ibuki, sannan, hajime, etc, his 'sunshine to mask the pain' personality, and how they relate to and mirror queer experiences, but at the base of this all, Heisuke knows exactly what it means to not fit in, to be different, and to have gone through hell to accept himself. if thats not the queer experience idk what is lol.

-photo five: my king so generously points out to us that he has never had feelings for a woman besides Chizuru (or MC for my self insert babies uwu). Where many other characters are hinted at being ladykillers or non-virgins etc, Heisuke has always been very candid about not having had any close bond with a woman before, much less have had feelings or even attraction to one. Sure, he gets embarrassed when the baka trio go to fun sexy lady places, but he himself doesn't ever really say that *he* is attracted to any of the other women he comes into contact with. points can be made here for him being bisexual/pansexual with or without a leaning towards men, demi/ace spectrum for his attraction seemingly going hand in hand with his closeness with a person, etc

-photo six: uhmmmmm who else can get along with kazama like this that isn't a little gay???? one of the few that can stand his ass (lovingly)

-photo seven: WATCH OR PLAY REIMEIROKU. this is obv from EB but the bond that ibuki and heisuke share is almost unbearable in how much they love and care for each other like,,,, what is your first love if not someone you wish will be happy in life with or without you? ibuki is so clearly not a samurai, he's an artsy little outcast (also incredibly queer-coded and missed on that post imo), and heisuke relates to and grows close to him, missing and loving him from afar, even so far as to refrain from going to see him personally in fear of disrupting their peace.

-photo eight: pls who else's arc has the major theme of fighting for others ???? :sob: :sob: :sob: like fr ive kept these screenshots and photos forever because i always keep in my heart that heisuke would be fighting for us. HE WILL COME TO BAT FOR YOU !!!!!!!!!

-photo nine: the baka trio have such a wonderful and beautiful friendship, that while i personally think they absolutely wouldve been close enough to experiment with each other, at the very least i think it's obvious that they are heisuke's found family. found families mean so much to queer people for a multitude of reasons, and im so thankful that heisuke has his.

i could honestly keep going for so long on this but ill end with this;

your favorite character is trans :) ALL of the shinsengumi members would back you up and fight for your human rights. none of the shinsengumi members from Hakuoki are queerphobic/fatphobic/transphobic/biphobic/etc. if YOU are transphobic get the fuck off my blog, i do not want your follow <3

p.s. either here in the replies/quote reblogs or in my messages or w/e feel free to ask for anything along the lines of trans and queer affirming headcanons about the hakuouki cast, i would love to provide that <3 <3 <3

[fleuristtargaryen]

Stick With You

Chapter 3. | Alarm Bells

Yasmin's POV

I woke up the next day crying. All I could do is cry. Jackson hurt me in ways. Jameson always allowed it though. Ghost wasn't in the bed so I assumed he was either already on the base with the others. I simply got ready for the day and put some comfy clothes on. I ran to my car due to the fact that I needed Simon. Once I got to the base and went through the gate I parked right beside my dad. Price was an overprotective father you see and he didn't take shit from anybody. He was well known around here and around the family. My mom's side hated his guts because they still think he cheated on her which he didn't. My mom is a straight ass bitch for lying to them. When my mom found out that Simon and I were a thing she knew down the line that I was surely going to be a mother. Having two girls is fun and all but when they constantly cry and whine for you and your husband it's no fun. They were currently with my mom and staying at her place for the time being. This mission is very important to my dad of course.

Her children's names:

Victoria Daisy Riley

Margaret Elizabeth Riley

How I came up with their names is beyond me but I blame my mother. Her name was Daisy so that's basically that. Her mother Elizabeth was very fierce and couldn't care less about what you did. I walked through and went straight to the briefing room where everyone was. Of course Jackson would send me flowers and he knew Tulips were my favorite. This man does anything to try and win me back, I swear. None of the new recruits were present due to them still training elsewhere. I finally made eye contact with Simon which calmed me down a little bit but not a lot seeing as the uninvited guest arrived. At least he brought food.

"Jackson what are you doing here?" Yasmin asked him.

"Well those flowers I sent you do smell wonderful." He calmly said to her.

"Why are you crying, my luv?" Simon asked his wife.

"I don't want to say it out loud." Yasmin said with her voice cracking.

"I already know why my daughter's crying. Jackson you abused my daughter and you think you can help with this mission. Well you are dead ass wrong for coning here." Price told him with anger in his eyes.

"I wouldn't say abused." Jackson cackled.

"Please leave my daughter alone and never come back!" Price said angrily while almost hitting him.

"Fine. I'll leave." Jackson said calmly.

"ETHAN GET IN HERE NOW!" Price yelled his name while scaring the living shit out of his daughter.

"Laswell thank you." Yasmin thanked the lady.

"Dear you are safe here. We talked to Ghost and he's more comfortable with you staying here with the team. All of your belongings will be here. We informed your mother on what's going on and she agreed that you need to stay here on the base with the team." Laswell explained to her.

"Oh." Was all Yasmin could say.

"Oh?" Laswell said out of her mouth.

"You called me sir?" Ethan asked.

"This is your doing isn't it?" He yelled at him.

"Yes and I am very sorry." Ethan said scared.

"I ain't gonna threaten you kid just don't do it again. You care about my daughter but you know calling Jackson up harmed her more than ever." Price told him.

Si 💕

Luv?

Si 💕

Please talk to me.

Si 💕

Don't do this luv.

Si 💕

Luv, please pick up.

Yasmin 💗

Yes?

Si 💕

Good you're awake.

Yasmin 💗

Literally just woke up.

Si 💕

Why do you sound so annoyed with me?

Yasmin 💗

I'm not annoyed. The kids just woke up looking for their dad.

Si 💕

I'm not far luv.

Yasmin 💗

Never said you were.

Si 💕

How many times does your dad have to remind me that I'm a dad?

Yasmin 💗

He does that a lot to his kids. More so his son-in-law's.

Si 💕

So his daughter-in-law's get a pass?

Yasmin 💗

None of my brothers are in a relationship anymore.

"So here's the plan, we need time get him to come to us, right? Then we use the strongest person there to distract him." Soap told his team.

"Negative." Simon said.

"We could use her to distract him. She works wonders on all men." Gaz said to his team.

"Negative." Simon said yet again.

"We need Cobra team here with us. They know more about this man than we do." Ghost told his team.

"She was apart of Cobra team though." Gaz said.

"Just because she was apart of Cobra team doesn't mean they are all still up for stuff like this." Soap told them.

"Boys you have to realize that this is his territory not yours. I know a lot about him more than you do. Gaz, Soap, you two will be on a team distracting the guards there. Price you and my captain will be on a team doing what you both do best. Everyone else will be doing something whatever the captain's say and as for Ghost you will be with me. Two snipers but he aims really good. I know you want him alive Price, but this is unfortunately not going to work. His men will haunt you down and kill you." Yasmin said to both teams.

"Good to hear from you, L.T." Cobra's captain said to her.

"Likewise." Yasmin told him.

"How's the married life going?" Her brother asked her.

"How's being dumb going?" Yasmin said to her brother annoyed.

"Don't start you two." Price told his grown children.

"Anyways mom misses you and wants you to come back home." Her brother said to his dad.

£

Simon

You're missing the point here.

Yasmin

What point am I missing? You not wanting me around you or you clearly avoiding me?

Simon

I'm not avoiding you at all. I have a job to do just like you do.

Yasmin

Y’know what Simon, I’m done arguing with you. You can enjoy life without me. I hate you and I don’t want you in my life anymore.

Simon

Luv, are you serious right now?

Yasmin

Never been the one to play with other’s feelings.

Simon

What are you implying?

Yasmin

I want you next to me. You just returned from a mission and we’re staying on bade because of shit that has a lot to deal with all of us.

Simon

So, you’re blaming me for everything?

Yasmin

Did I say I was? No.

Simon

Let’s talk this out later. I’m completely tired.

Yasmin

Sleep on the couch and leave me the hell alone.

(read @ 1:55pm)

£

Father Price

What’s going one with you and Simon?

Yasmin

Nothing you need to worry about.

Father Price

Talk to me.

Yasmin

He’s really getting deployed again?

Father Price

This is his job.

Yasmin

Unbelievable. You siding with him now?

Father Price

I’m not siding with anyone.

(read @ 2:30am)

£

Yasmine couldn’t sleep and she was spiraling. Her mother had her kids and she was far away. To say the least she grabbed her keys and left without a sound. She drove to the bar. She was only at the bar because she needed water to calm down. She left and she drive for hours and hours. She was low on gas so she drove to the gas station and put gas in her car. She didn’t want to go back to base so she snuck in her sister’s house. She instantly fell asleep on the couch.

Simon woke up looking for his wife. He couldn’t find her anywhere. Her phone along with half of her clothes was gone. She called her sister and she didn’t pick up due to the fact she hates his guts. Lizzie was very pissed at the fact that he was leaving his wife once again. There was a reason for Yasmin’s trouble’s. Price was pissed because he knew it was something more to Simon leaving. He walked into her room and the room was in shambles. She was in fact going crazy. He walked into the bathroom and something caught her eye. A pregnancy test. It was positive. Oh but there was more pregnancy tests and they were all positive. Price picked them all up and put them in his daughter’s memories box. Then he went back in the bathroom and saw her ring was there. The one Simon gave to her when they first dated. He was devastated. With everything going on he didn’t know if his daughter was truly okay.

Lizzie woke up to knocking on the door. She walked to the door and saw her dad standing there. She opened it and her dad looked really devastated. As a father he failed. He hated failing as a dad and he hated the outcome.

“I know your sister is here.” Price said devastated.

“She’s asleep, dad.” She said tiredly.

“You look tired, dad.” She said.

“I am.” He said while immediately face planting on the couch. He instantly fell asleep.

Yasmin woke up rushing to the bathroom. She knew her bladder was taking its course.

[spicyvampire]

2022 : a summary

Post your favorite or most popular edit from each month this year (it’s okay to skip months!)  

Tagged by @talays-portkey Thanks for the Tag!

January

Most Popular : [x] the Yok liking Dan in a very normal way

Favorite : [x] Yok skills gifset really was the start of an era, loved that insane guy and he was funny af, first time I was starting to make huge gifsets with little captions on them I think? ; [x] Y’all remember the raccoon meme? Man, I forgot I made that for Bad and Crazy but it was fun, and different from anything I’ve ever made because I tried to make it look like posters and yeah I like that

February

Most Popular : [x] Yok defending Dan in front of Sean, tbf this came out during a heartbreacking episode people needed a laugh

Favorite : [x] y’all remember Sean vs Yok who is the fastest gay alive? these guys were insane, also this inspired Vegas vs Kinn later that same year ; [x] Yok + Greek words for love, the amount of love I have in my heart for that boy isn’t even half the one he has in his for like everyone, he is just SO full of love

March

Most Popular : [x] Yok edition of who is the fastest gay alive, that bad boy took so long to make ugh glad people liked it

Favorite : [x] my danyok goodbye gifset using stucky quote ajgdhashdfgsh the purple looks great on computer ; [x] Live slug MoD reaction, it was just fun to do something MoD again

April

Most Popular : [x] Porsche not connecting the dots on Kinn homosexual activity, I just learned how to animate a gif and boy did I want to have fun with that

Apparently I gifed like almost nothing in april, it was exam period afterall

May

Most Popular : [x] Vegas vs Kinn, trying to find neon looking fonts and neon looking overlays was a pain in the ass but it was worth it, I hope I do that type of gifset vibes again soon  it was fun to make

Favorite : now it is very hard to chose my fave gifset there because it was the month I was doing Not Me Appreciation and I really like that I should probably try to do again but I really think those are my top 2 so here [x] Yok; [x] DanYok sunshine & Rain

June

Most Popular : [x] Pete’s BDSM duality, which is very surprising cuz I thought it was gonna be the [x] Family Braincells gifset seeing that people even requested that for the bodyguards afterwards but oh well

Favorite : [x] Vegas Hidding out Magazine which weirdly is one of my less popular KP gifset but I love it so much “pathetic is the new chic” like come on I literally peaked there, if I ever make shirts out of the one liners this one is gonna be the first one at for sure; [x] TanBunn relationship developements finally went back to my MoD roots for pride month MaxTul if you reading this pls come back 😔

July

Most Popular : [x] Porsche fear of ghosts, we love a little scared cat

Favorite : [x] KP goodbye gifset, truly the end of an era, I’m forever changed

August

Most Popular : [x] Shadowhunters edits that reminds me I have not gifed SH in months

Again I did nothing really that month

September

Most Popular : surprisingly the most popular gifset isn’t a KP one, it’s [x]  akkayan hoodie, 2nd is [x] PorschePete bitches stage tho so eh

Favorite :  so end of september & start of october was kpweek and boy did I come  there ready cuz I spend the entire month before doing like nothing and I  had all these pent up ideas,  I have so many favorites really I had fun with KPweek [x] Kinn [x] Pete [x] KinnPorsche

October

Most Popular : [x] Main and Minor family (minus the parents), that was one long boi wasn’t it

Favorite : [x] Ayan + Debbie’s monologue what can I say I just love the addams family and I rewatch the movies almost every year so I know a lot of these lines by heart; [x] KP Halloween cuz I forgot to put the side story in my Porsche fear of ghost gifset so Halloween gave me a reason to dedicate a gifset to it

November

Most Popular : [x] Cherry Magic, god the way I ran when it dropped on youtube oof

Favorite : [x] MoD 2 years anniversary gifset, cannot believe it’s been 2 years MaxTul WHERE are you 😭😔💔

December

Most Popular : [x] SamMon right in front of everyone salad

Favorite : December is exam month and this time I really tried to gif almost nothing till like the very end but shoot out to [x] Bodyguards braincells gifset

I think I did one of for 2021 too and it was fun going back through the stuff I did, a bunch of these I literally forgot I made last year so that’s why I wrote so much for a lot of them

Tagging (if you want to no pressure & also idk who has done this already sorry) : @luna-lina @winteams @kinnsporsche @thelaziestmotherfucker @fangrui @guzhu-furen @laowen @sunsetandthemoon @pavel-chekovs @liyazaki

[foxglovecove]

Alright currently obsessed with this for the moment…my idea for the Headless Horseman’s backstory

Name: Thomas Amsler

Nationality: German (state of Hesse-Cassel)

Age (at time of death): 21

Still working out the details but so far what I have is below the cut:

Dates might have to adjust once I do more research…

His family is poor and to help once he’s of age (17) he joins the German Army. A few years later his unit is selected to go fight in some revolution or another in the British Colonies. All members of the unit are promised a large bonus at the end of the war and they’re shipped out in 1780 (3 years before the end of the American Revolution, he’s 18).

The unit is excited to get to fight in a “real war” and their spirits are high when they arrive. That doesn’t last long and many of the unit end up dying or deserting. Not Thomas though. While he could care less about the British “cause,” he knows his family needs the money the soldiers were promised so he sticks to it.

Meanwhile during one particularly bad winter in 1782 his squad is sheltered in a farm with a family that’s supposedly loyal to the British. The family consists of mom, dad, two young boys, and three daughters (all to be named later).

I can’t not have romance in anything I do so of course Thomas and one of the daughters fall in love. Unfortunately another soldier, one of the British also sheltering there for the winter, has taken a liking to this same daughter. The daughter has been mildly interested but mostly as a flirtation, no real feelings involved unlike those she develops for Thomas.

British soldier (also to be named later) doesn’t like that Thomas has “taken his girl” (he hasn’t). There is a one-sided rivalry between the two. Thomas tries to befriend the guy but the guy is an ass.

Cut to August 1783, one of the last few battles of the war. Thomas and the daughter have secret plans to marry once it’s over and stay in the colonies regardless of who wins, though by now they’re both rooting for the colonists to win independence. The British soldier has found out about their plans and will do anything to stop them so he can marry her instead.

The battle is almost over, British soldier sees the canon and that Thomas, atop his horse, is right in its path. He doesn’t warn him and that’s when tragedy strikes. The canon ball kills Thomas and the horse.

After the battle is over Thomas’ best friend goes to the farm to tell the daughter what happened. She’s devastated but she also can’t let go. She insists on seeing Thomas’ body but by then he’s been buried so she demands he take her to his grave.

She requests she be left alone to say goodbye. She stays for a while, long after the sun has gone down. She grabs some things from the satchel she’s brought with her. They’re tools for a ritual. She knows she can’t bring him back but she can make it so that he’s not really gone. She has dabbled in witchcraft, taught by her mother, is part of a long line of witches.

She does the ritual but nothing seems to happen. She’s in tears but finally says goodbye.

Cut to a year later…

1784

She’s now being courted by the evil British guy. She doesn’t know he could’ve prevented Thomas’ death. Her father makes the match despite her and her mom’s protests. She is miserable but resigned to her fate. Her heart still belongs to Thomas but she knows she’ll be secure in the match with the British soldier.

It’s approaching the anniversary of the day Thomas died and weird things start to happen. People claim to see a shadowy figure riding through the forest.

October, two months later: The family is hosting a Harvest Dance and British soldier announces his engagement to the daughter at the party. Everyone is cheering and having a good time when a huge gust of wind and rain blows open the barn doors, blowing out all the candles. The music stops, people are trying to find matches and ways to light the candles again.

A silhouette approaches through the storm. A man riding on a horse. At first people pay no mind to it, just another neighbor who’s come to join the festivities. But, as the figure gets closer, a terrified silence falls over the group for the rider appears not to have a head. In his left hand is one of the Jack-o-lanterns that decorated the path to the barn.

Someone screams as the figure hurls the pumpkin at the British soldier, burning him and knocking him out cold.

The horse rears up and a ghostly shriek echoes as the figure turns and rides off towards the forest, disappearing into the darkness.

The daughter tries to run after but is stopped by her mother.

“What have you done, child?” says the mom, horrified.

“What I had to do,” she replies. “I couldn’t let him go.”

[aquaburst3]

I saw a post where OP rambled about how they wished that there are more fics with the OB feeling guilty and Yuu not forgiving them. To be honest, I feel split about this...

On one hand, I totally agree. I think the OB should've suffered more consequences for their actions. While they all have a lot of trauma, that doesn't excuse what they did. A lot of them did some very fucked up things for them to just get a slap on the wrist and everyone immediately brushes it off like it's nothing. That's just not realistic and is straight up bad writing. (Hell, changing things around so that they are punished more and have an actual fallout is one of my goals in my own fix-it fics.)

On the other hand, I think they're over exaggerating the effect their actions would realistically have on the player. In a lot of the cases, the OB actions affect the characters around them and not Yuu. Yuu is a passive observer most of the time, acting as a camera lense to view the madness more than a fleshed out character. (Which is another huge issues in the game that I'm also trying to fix in my writing, but that's besides the point.)

The only times that I can recall where their actions directly affected the player are in Book 1 (when Riddle insult's the player's family), Book 3 (when Azul does the dorm shit), and Book 4 (Jamil taking the player hostage/yeeting them into the desert). The rest of the time they hurt the other characters more like when Leona almost Thanos Snaps Ruggie or Vil poisoning Neige. Book 1 Riddle gets a dose of instant karma when Ace punches him in the face after he does that, so that only leaves those other two times. Hell, Vil does apologize in Book 6 and tries to make it up to the player by sacrificing his share of money, which I think is a reasonable penitence for how he affected Yuu directly. And it's more than what I can say for a lot of the others. (Looking at you Leona and Jamil.) Though, I wish that Vil apologized to Deuce after he insulted him. While I understand he was emotional and spouting out some of his personal baggage, that was uncalled for.

I don't think Neige is an innocent snowflake like OP claims either. He's a lot like Kalim. He's kind and well meaning, but he's also selfish, inconsiderate and not exactly the brightest. He slapped a half assed terrible routine to a top tier music competition and put only his buddies on it, slamming the door on many others from that school with actual talent. Hell, Vil is the one who lines up with Snow White personality wise and not Neige, since he values hard work and genuinely wants to help out others become their best selves while Neige pulls...that. Does that make Vil poisoning him justified? God, no. Vil was way out of line. But, I can understand where Vil was coming from a little bit, even if him deciding to poison Neige was rushed and over the top. He felt like he was screwed over by Neige for years, and him doing that and being praised for it was the straw that broke the camel's back. Same goes for Jamil towards Kalim. The less I say about Rollo and how the game handled him, the better.

Over all, have some differing views, but I think we can both agree that the boy's should've suffered more consequences for their actions in general and that Ace is a good friend for standing up for Yuu so often after Book 1. Though, obviously, OP is entitled their own opinion.

Edit: Don't get it twisted. There are some legit reasons why Yuu might be traumatized or highly stressed out by at the very least from having multiple near death experiences to being forced to live in a rundown shithole. These should be examined more both in canon and in fics. What I am getting is that saying that Yuu would be a traumatized wreck from how the OB squad's actions affected them specifically seems like a stretch to me, since they hardly ever went after them specifically outside of a few instances out of the whole game so far.

[monterraverde]

Goodbye Paldea, my temporary home.

She wasn't expecting to become thick as family with Red and Giovanni, and she was fully prepared to have to make this move on her own... Until they quickly offered to help her move everything into the new house.

A small little cottage on the outskirts of saffron with marshland practically in her back yard... Sure it was a bit of a fixer-upper, needed some renovations on the walls and floors, but it was structurally sound, built to withstand earthquakes and the like, and the renovation project would give her goals to work on... And a new job lined up with Sabrina and Silph Co. to start as soon as she got settled.

It almost seemed surreal, that this is what this whole excursion spawned... what was just a vacation quickly turned into a life changing adventure... One that was still ongoing, all things considered.

Packing only enough for a weeks stay, the group caught the next plane to Paldea, 15 hours back and forth was going to be a pain in the ass, especially with the boxes they were going to eventually be carrying... And the entire way there, despite her sleeping most of it, it was obvious how anxious she was becoming... She needed to have so many conversations, and she knew there was going to be tears, and anger, and people trying to get her to stay.

Red and Giovanni were gonna have to deal with her being a hot mess for a little while longer... She wondered why they put up with her for so long to begin with, but... She was happy they were here.

When they arrived at the house, the first thing she noticed was the overpowering smell of alcohol and bleach- Right, Giovanni mentioned he had cleaned the place before he left, but she hadn't expected it to feel like a HOSPITAL when she got back... And her bedroom felt the same which-

Oh.... Oh he cleaned in there too didn't he?

Oh no...

Welp, that's an embarrassment she'll never get rid of.

Better get to work before she can think on it too much-

------

Leaving the Elite brought a heavy pain, swearing in her replacement brought even more... and when all was said and done, she left with grace and dignity, and broken hearts in her wake... The way Poppy and Hassel all started bawling as she left would sit on her conscience for ages, and when she comes back to the house that day, she cries... For several hours. It's hard, leaving everything behind, leaving everyone you love behind.

But this has never been home... Just windows and rooms and a roof- and trauma, so much trauma...

She's never quite okay afterword, but the packing is swiftly finished, the house in Los Platos finally sold, and the key for the one in the desert cloned, one given to Bella, so she'd always have a place to come home too in Paldea if they ever came back.

Clothes, old electronics, decorations, curios, bedding, pillows, everything crammed into boxes that was light enough to carry by one person. The furniture would be left alone, no sense in trying to haul that cross continents. Shipping the boxes, she washed her hands of it... Locking the door one last time as they proceeded back to the airport in Porta Marinada

Another 15 hour flight later, and the ordeal didn't weigh any less heavy... The new house was small, enough for a single family to live comfortably, and all her things she opted to bring fit neatly inside.

She'd start sourcing materials for the renovation projects in the morning, and buying new furniture and appliances... For now, she sleeps.

Welcome to Kanto, Trainer, seize your own happiness.

[bellevvalencia]

All things considered

When I think about how I’m right here, right now, still laughing and feeling and trying, I think about the innate mechanism of humans that alert them on what they need to do to survive.

You live to fight another day.

There was no time to think. In March, I was jammed into the team’s most complicated system that I had to get within a week. I was coming in at 8 and leaving at 8. I had been juggling operations that I barely understood in one hand, and my dev work that was way far from the finish line in my other hand. It was just not enough.

In April, I went to three different funerals in three weeks. I was sad and numb and stressed. It was also scary how more accepting I have become about death, both actual and make-believe. (Because, like many of us, I assume, I have relatives who are fucking dead to me). I was on the road most of the time, balancing the responsibilities I have at work and at home on the tip of my nose, while indulging on the side with my best friends.

It’s probably why in May, oh my God, in May, I just felt high. Like nothing matters anymore and I can be anything. I was a shapeshifter. I was Belle and Belly and Andrea all at the same time. I fixed and broke. I stayed silent and laughed aloud. I came and went. I took on anything and killed it.

But the moment I sat down with a one-on-one with Rafa, my infamous 24-year-old supervisor, I realized I had the same problem that I had three months ago, back when I felt way less at-home at the office.

“Have a point-of-view,” he said. “Write that down.”

I couldn’t give him anything - not a want or a need or a direction. I could only tell him that I’m okay and I like what I’m doing, and I could only ask him to give me three more months to figure it out. Figuring out a clear view of what I want to do is such a pain in my ass. Everyone knows I’ve always been like this. In high school, in college, all I’ve ever known was I’d take anything that I could get, simply because my reality is I didn’t grow up with a dream.

I wanted life to be simple. Happy with my family and friends, and able to spend time with them as long as I can.

All things considered, everything’s turning out well. I sat on a coaching session one slow Monday with Jerome, our CEO, and when I told him that my stressor was that I had no idea what to chase after, he cut me off almost immediately.

“Got it. Nobody truly knows what they want.”

I smiled, glimpsing at Rafa then, because it felt validating, like I was right to feel that way, at 22. Although it also felt bad, because I knew it would be more work for him, helping this stupid fresh grad create her own point-of-view. Some people won’t ever have this problem. They’d know what the hell they wanted to do. Most importantly, this shouldn’t even be a concern for Rafa, for someone else. And yet, because we’re a tight, neurotic team, it is.

If you think about it, it’s a concern mostly for me, but is it weird that I’m not that bothered?

It’s too bad I don’t have enough time to think, then.

All things considered, everything’s turning out well. Can you believe they gave me a fucking raise? I still don’t know if I deserve it. What did I even do? I just did what everyone told me to! It’s always so hard to find grace when you don’t have the time to think. Maybe someday, in three more months, along with a point-of-view, I’ll figure it out.

Everyone is lying when they say college is the hardest part. It’s not. Leaving college is the hardest part. You’re starting anew. You’re making your own choices. No profs to pick, no grades to get. Hell, if you want, you can pretty much just stop. It’s what makes it so scary. The world becomes your oyster. You can do anything. And yet, you can’t. You can never do it all. Nobody truly knows what they want. The only way through is to accept it, live with it. You can never live up to your expectations, even though you don’t know what those expectations are.

That’s how you know you’re doing well. Even though you will never ever believe that.

It’s just how it is for people like us.

So I guess, when I think about today, all things considered: complicated systems, death, life, responsibilities, indulgement, missing directions, and tree-tall highs and ocean-deep lows...I think about how the hell everything is turning out pretty well.